


there is no reason to do that many flips, keith

by OpulenceInLife



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cheerleaders, Everybody Lives, F/F, F/M, Jock Allura, Jock shiro, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Texting, Threesome - M/M/M, chat fic with plot, maybe smut idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpulenceInLife/pseuds/OpulenceInLife
Summary: sexy and bi know it:i can’t remember the name for the stuff that goes on cakessexy and bi know it:all that comes to mind issexy and bi know it:cake sauce----also known as the shklance chat fic w a dash of pallura and hunay





	1. The Epic Gay Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> let it be known that i am probably not gonna update this fic super often

**sexy and bi know it** has added **keithkogayne,** **PoppinPrincess, guccieyebags, alARMingly hot,**  and **HunkHonk** to **help me i may be dying**

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** guys

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** help

 

 **keithkogayne:** babe, what’s wrong

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** i can’t remember the name for the stuff that goes on cakes

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** all that comes to mind is

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** cake sauce

 

 **guccieyebags has changed the chat name to** **_cake sauce_ **

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** i didn’t ask for this percecution

 

 **HunkHonk:** you spelled that wrong, lance

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** _again, i didn’t ask for this persecution_

 

 **guccieyebags:** nd yt hr w r

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** was…. was that english?

 

 **guccieyebags:** yes it was engwish

 

 **keithkogayne:** i think i have to kinkshame pidge now

 

 **guccieyebags:** we all know what hankypanky u and ur boyf get up to, fck off

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** WAS THAT A

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** BE MORE CHILL REF

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** Lance is definitely jeremy, srry keith u get a panic attack in a bathroom

 

 **keithkogayne:** sounds abt right

 

 **alARMingly hot:** i just woke up from a nap and now im wondering if the filling of donuts could be called donut juice

 

 **HunkHonk:** w r o n g

 

 **alARMingly hot:** [why are you booing.jpg]

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** he has a point

 

**keithkogayne - > sexy and bi know it**

 

 **keithkogayne:** ur only saying that because u want his dicc

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** and u dont???

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** did you s e E when he had to reMove His SHIRR during football practice???

 

 **keithkogayne:** GOD DO I

 

 **keithkogayne:** i had to “go get water” for a bit to try and calm down

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** i should’ve gotten water w you

 

 **keithkogayne:** ;)

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** we’re so thirsty jss chrst

 

 **keithkogayne:** okay u right

 

 **keithkogayne:** but he’s not interested so we need to find some not as straight jock to crush on

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** but jesus christ do i want shiro to crush me with his thighs

 

 **keithkogayne:** FORGET HIS THIGHS, HIS BICEPS ARE BIGGER THAN MY HEAD

 

Keith Kogane was having his polyamorous epiphany, laying in bed with an arm over his face. He already knew he was gay, judging by the fact that he was a cheerleader, a visual arts student, and in a relationship with another male, no, a male cheerleader. But he was just now realizing how much he’d love to be in an actual relationship with Shiro. A relationship with Shiro and Lance both. He sometimes felt like he needed Lance to breathe, he gave him both a grounded sensation and made him feel lighter than air. He was super in love with his boyfriend. In love enough for them to fantasize about the same boy together. He picked up his phone again and decided to call Lance.

“Hey babe!” Lance greeted with a happy little chirp that made Keith’s heart squeeze with affection. “Hi darling. Wanna go out?” Lance squealed happily over the line, “Ooh of course! With our friends or just us?”

“What are you in the mood for, love?”

“I kind of want to hang out with everyone.” Lance loved Keith, but he couldn’t decide if he liked private Keith or public Keith more. In private, Keith was so loving and affectionate, and quite the cuddler. In public, Keith acted a bit more like the persona he put out. He held Lance’s hand like he was forced to (but enjoying it) and teased at him instead of battling his insecurities for him when they were alone together. Lance loved each side of Keith easily. He just… loved Keith.

 

 **group chat** **_cake sauce_ **

 

 **keithkogayne:** does anyone want to join me and lance for food or smth

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** it’ll be f i r e

 

 **guccieyebags:** i would but i’d rather do anything than socialize rn

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** are you alright pigeon? wanna come over and not socialize w me

 

 **guccieyebags:** yeah gimme ten minutes

 

 **keithkogayne:** okay anyone besides those two gays

 

 **alARMingly hot:** keith ur literally dating a boy

 

 **keithkogayne:** ur point?

 

 **alARMingly hot:** and i’ll meet you guys wherever i wanna do smth

 

 **HunkHonk:** srry, shay and i have a date

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** SPICY

 

 **HunkHonk:** maybe mild

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** i need deats afterwards mkay?

 

 **HunkHonk:** shrug

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** did you just type shrug

 

 **HunkHonk:** do you have eyes

 

 **guccieyebags:**  RRRRROASTEDDDDDD

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** i could just not let you in

 

 **guccieyebags:** i could just not force my brother to stop at starbucks for us

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** i could let you in

 

 **keithkogayne:** so is it just us and shiro?

 

Keith felt himself get alarmingly warm at the thought of hanging out with both his boyfriend and their crush at the same time. Then he attempted a smile. “What am I nervous about? It’s just me, my boyfriend, and the boy we both want to date. So everything will be fine.” He whispered bravely before receiving a text from Lance.

 

**sexy and bi know it - > keith kogayne**

 

 **sexy and bi know it:**  ssoooooo are we gonna dress like hoes or not

 

 **keith kogayne:**  that’s what you’re worried about???

 

 **sexy and bi know it:**  well are we? i have a cute skirt for you

 

 **keith kogayne:** hm

 

 **keith kogayne:**  lemme see it

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** [yourasswilllookgreat.jpg]

 

 **keith kogayne:** you’re fucking right holy shit

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** come pick me up and you get the skirt

 

 **keith kogayne:** be ready in fifteen

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** i have no idea how shiro won’t crave that booty by the end of the night

 

 **keith kogayne:** im fucking hot

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** damn gay

 

 **sexy and bi know it:**  GET IT???

Keith decided to ignore his boyfriend’s attempt at a joke and turned to his closet. He grabbed a pair of shorts he’d normally wear to cheer practice, since he was going to be changing into Lance’s skirt anyway. He picked out a red shirt that he hoped would look good with the skirt. He couldn’t decide between the black skater shoes or his white converse and decided to just bring them with him to pick up lance. He collected his stuff and headed for the door, waving goodbye to his dads watching a movie on the couch. “I won’t stay out too late, promise. It’s just a chill hangout with friends.” He said before the pair could even ask. Thace nodded and waved him off, nestling back into his husband. “Be safe.” Ulaz called. Keith nodded with a smile at his fathers before stepping out the door.

 

 **group chat** **_cake sauce_ **

 

 **keith kogayne:** im on my way to get lance, and nobody but shiro is coming right

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** yeah pidge and i are gonna watch buzzfeed unsolved in my theater

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** what a rich bitch

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** im skinny, rich, and a lottle bit of a bitch

 

 **HunkHonk:** i don’t believe lottle is a word -Shay

 

 **guccieyebags:** we would roast you, but you’re too nice, carry on shay

 

 **HunkHonk:** shay shield, activate

 

 **alARMingly hot:** yeah, im on my way to wendy’s

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** im sitting on my porch because my mom said my pacing was too much

 

 **keith kogayne:** are you okay tho?

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** im fine, blue is keeping me company

 

 **keith kogayne:** ok im driving now, see you soon

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** love you sweetheart

 

 **keith kogayne:** you too sharpshooter

 

Keith, true to his word, pulled into the McClain’s driveway fourteen minutes after he’d notified Lance. Lance stood up from his seat on the porch, slowly stepping over the white cat lounging in the path. He headed over to Keith and threw his arms around him, “Hi Keith!” He chirped, pressing a kiss to Keith’s cheek. Keith only smiled and wrapped his arms around his waist, “Love you too, babe. We should head to Wendy’s. Can I have that skirt?” He asked, holding out his hands. “Say please.” Lance teased, heading to the passenger door. “Please? With those blue candies you like on top?” Lance smiled and tossed the skirt over the side of the car. Keith smiled gratefully, and he pulled the skirt on over his shorts, “How does this look?”

“Cute! My handsome ninja.”

“This is Korean erasure.” Keith snickered, sliding back into his car and unlocking it for Lance. “Alright, so what’s our game plan?”

“Be cute and flirtatious and figure out if he’s even into us. Though, why would he not be? We’re _hot_.” Lance laughed before leaning over to peck Keith’s lips. “Let’s go, my handsome prince!”

 

 **group chat** **_cake sauce_ **

 

 **sexy and bi know it:**  keith and i are on the way

 

 **alARMinglyhot:** pls hurry, a woman inside is judging me for sitting in my truck outside

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** keith says to flip her off, don’t do that

 

 **alARMinglyhot:** im considering removing my arm and waving it at her with my hand

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** while that’s hilarious, you should be careful w urself

 

 **alARMinglyhot:** self care? never met her

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** shirooooo

 

 **HunkHonk:** shirooooo

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** shirooooo

 

 **guccieyebags:** shiroooo

 

 **guccieyebags:** hey princess, you want ur regular right?

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** yes pls, can u get an extra shot of espresso in it

 

 **guccieyebags:** u better be glad you can benchpress me

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** kinky

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** keith could probably lift u

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** no way i do dance, i have the muskles

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** plus i lift his gay ass all the time

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** yeah yeah cheerleader pompoms adorable skirts yada yada

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** ur gay for like the half of the cheerleaders

 

 **guccieyebags:** how to be a cheerleader when ur short and ugly

 

 **guccieyebags:** sorry that was meant for google

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** GAAAAAAAAAAY

 

 **PoppinPrincess:** ur not wrong

 

 **sexy and bi know it:** okay shiro we’re pulling in the lot

 

Lance pointed out Shiro’s truck and waved to their friend, who looked up from his phone to see them pull in. Once parked, Lance hopped out, giving himself another once over before heading to Shiro’s window, tapping gently. Keith came up behind him, a hand coming up automatically to his waist. Shiro climbed out too, “You guys ready to eat?” He asked, tugging at his slightly too tight Air Force shirt. Lance had to fight himself not to stare at Shiro’s faintly outlined muscles. “Yeah, let’s go.” Keith supplied for Lance, whose tongue seemed stuck in his throat.

 

Shiro was probably thirty seconds from spontaneously combusting. _‘Keith looks really good in skirts. His thighs are gorgeous. This is gay. So am I… Lance’s pants are reeeeally tight…’_ He thought to himself, still trying to carry on a conversation with the couple as they stood in line at Wendy’s. He knew that he really shouldn’t be having thoughts like that about two guys. Especially two guys who were dating each other! He felt like a homewrecker. He had to do something about these feelings. Anything.


	2. wow, everyone's gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Especially shiro

**alARMingly hot - > PoppinPrincess**

**alARMingly hot:** im gonna bust

 **PoppinPrincess:** please don’t finish that with a nut

**alARMingly hot has changed their name to shirohmygod**

**shirohmygod:** keith is wearing a SKIRT! it’s fucking im dead

 **PoppinPrincess:** local quarterback found dead, slain by the quality of cheerleader’s thighs

 **shirohmygod:** lura you don’t understand, lance is wearing yoga pants and he has the butt of a god

 **shirohmygod:** i really shouldn’t think this about them

 **shirohmygod:** im a homewrecker

 **PoppinPrincess:** why not date both

 **shirohmygod:** i can’t do that!!!

 **PoppinPrincess:** have you never heard of polyamory?

 **shirohmygod:** who

 **PoppinPrincess:** christ

**PoppinPrincess - > sexy and bi know it**

**PoppinPrincess:**  You guys should flirt w him

 **sexy and bi know it:** we’re fucking trying

 **sexy and bi know it:** currently, keith is basically flashing him

 **sexy and bi know it:** god my boyfriend has a nice ass

 **PoppinPrincess:** Eyes on the prize

 **sexy and bi know it:** i doubt shiro is even into us

 **PoppinPrincess:** Debatable

 **sexy and bi know it:** what's that mean

 **PoppinPrincess:** Just try and shoot your shot melonhead

 **sexy and bi know it:** asshole

 **PoppinPrincess:** Pidgey doesn't think so

 **PoppinPrincess:** [ilovemygf.jpg]

 **sexy and bi know it:** you need jesus

 **PoppinPrincess:** Would you like to talk abt my lord and savior, Pidge Holt?

 **sexy and bi know it:** bye allura

 **PoppinPrincess:** get some, child

Lance placed his phone down on the table and shook his head, trying to clear away the image that Allura sent him. Keith turned towards him, “What's wrong, baby?”“

I think Allura and Pidge are doing a lot more than watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in the theater.” He made a face, and Keith started laughing loudly. Shiro blushed, looking a bit like a tomato, “Well how do you know?”“

Believe me, handsome, you would not wanna know why.” Lance kept on, looping an arm around Keith and trying to block out the fact that he called Shiro handsome, to his face!

Shiro was basically dying. In between Keith's incredibly short skirt, the wonderfully and awfully tight shorts he wore underneath, and Lance calling him handsome, he felt like he might short circuit.”Hey guys?” He said suddenly, on a short burst of faith that nothing could get worse. “Yeah, Shiro?” Keith asked, looking up from his fries and lifting his head from Lance's shoulder. “I think I may be a little into dudes?” Shiro began. Then all hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is very short but i tried and therefore nobody can shame me


	3. let's get gay in the woods!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's like two hams

Keith and Lance both opened their mouth to say something, anything, but then lo and behold, the literal spawn of the devil, Lotor Prince sauntered up to their table and put a hand down with a loud smack. “Hey darlings!” He cooed, giving Keith a near glare while smiling dazzingly at Lance and Shiro. Lotor’s lackeys, a group of girls fanned out behind him.

Ezor, a tan, lithe girl who was also on the cheer squad with a long pink ponytail gave the two of them a smile and a wave. Her emo girlfriend, Axca, barely spared them a glance as she brushed blue hair out of her eyes. Zethrid, the big one, glowered down at them as Narti stared in their direction blankly. Her service cat seemed to do the glare for her. 

Lotor smirked, “So, since I managed to catch you, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come to my father's yacht for the weekend. We're having a party on the lake, and anybody who's somebody is going.” He seemed to be deliberately not looking at Keith, laser-focusing on Lance.

Lance, who normally loved attention, bristled and shrugged, “I think I'm good. I might be going to the beach with my friends and family soon anyway.” He murmured dismissively, sliding closer to Keith. Keith automatically wrapped an arm around Lance and tried to scare Lotor off with a glare, but it's hard to do that when you're a twink in a skirt.

Lotor shrugged, inspecting his nails, “Hm. Pity. Laters.” Lance waved, “Bye Ezor, see you at cheer practice.” She grinned, “See you, space cadet.” She gave a little salute before straightening when Axca nudged her shoulder a bit harder than necessary.

The five left, Lotor giving Keith one more glare over his shoulder. Shiro, who had been silent during the ambush, finally spoke up, “So can I get the scoop on that or no?” Lance groaned and put his head in his hands, “Ugh, fine. At a party, I kissed Lotor while mildly intoxicated and now he thinks I'm all his, but I was drunk, and I'm a slutty drunk, everyone knows this.” Lance rambled. Keith shrugged, “Sometimes you're sad. You sobbed for like an hour once about how sharks will never be able to smell flowers.”

“But they can't, Keith!”

“I know, babe.” Shiro stifled a snort, “That is troubling. Sharks are way nicer than humanity gives them credit for.”

“I'd let a shark eat me, because I was probably in its habitat and I deserved it.”

“This is why he rarely tries to swim out in the ocean. All surfing and sand for  _ my _ Lance.”

Shiro felt a jolt of alarm sprint down his spine at the emphasis. That alarm turned into… jealousy, maybe? But who was he jealous of. He really needed to figure this out before he hurt his friends. “So uh, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, you feeling a little gay, dude?” Lance across the table as much as he could. “Uhh, maybe a bit. Cause like… you guys are really cool and nice and…”

“We have fantastic butts.” Keith laughed. Shiro immediately went red, “That is, in fact, not what I'm thinking about.”

“Sure, but let's admit. Lance? Number one butt. It's like two hams.” Keith rambled, nudging his boyfriend. “Jesus, Keith, stop being such a thot, we’re trying to help our confused friend!” Lance swatted at him, but this did not stop Keith from winking at Shiro and pointing at Lance’s butt. 

“This is the nightmare scenario.” Shiro mumbled. “Can we do this somewhere else? Like not in the middle of a Wendy’s?”

“Let's go get gay in the woods!” Keith decided and stood up, marching for the door. “He wears one skirt and thinks he can say whatever he wants just because he's really cute. Come on, Shiro we're gonna go to our gay tree fort.” Lance stood and held out a hand, “Let's go get gay in the woods, right?”

“Right.” Shiro took his hand, ignoring his inner hypermasculinity telling him to stop thinking about two boys’ butts and also the gay treehouse.

**group chat** **_cake sauce_ **

**shirohmygod:** Can anyone tell me anything about the gay tree fort because i kinda feel like a living porno???

**sexy and bi know it:** only gays allowed

**PoppinPrincess:** You’re bi, Pidgey is demi, I'm pan, and Keith is the literal only gay

**sexy and bi know it:** shiro might be gay

**shirohmygod:** Hi I might like guys

**HunkHonk:** Glad you're figuring stuff out!!! I'm proud!!!!!

**sexy and bi know it:** hunk, an actual ray of sunshine

**HunkHonk:** Love you buddy!!!!

**sexy and bi know it:** love you too hunk

**guccieyebags:** hunk is the hero we dont deserve

**shirohmygod:** Just realized I left my truck at Wendy’s

**sexy and bi know it:** we’ll take you to get it later

**PoppinPrincess:** Have fun on your gay adventure in the woods

**shirohmygod:** Nobody told me anything about this tree fort

**sexy and bi know it:** ive sucked keith’s dicc in the gay tree fort

**guccieyebags:** deffo gone down on Allura in it

**HunkHonk:** I do unpure things to my girlfriend in normal places

**sexy and bi know it:** keith called you a boring straighty but he wants you know that he still loves you

**HunkHonk:** :(

**sexy and bi know it:** keith yelled fuck and slammed his head against the steering wheel

**HunkHonk:** >:)

**PoppinPrincess:** A criminal mastermind toying with emotions

**guccieyebags:** he’s the joker but not an abusive and awful person

**PoppinPrincess:** MAN FUCK THE JOKER

**PoppinPrincess:** HARLEY QUINN WAS WAY BETTER THAN HIM IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM

**PoppinPrincess:** I’d like to thank God and Jesus that she is gonna get upgraded to Poison Ivy

**sexy and bi know it:** god id pay big bux for poison ivy to vore me with one of her cool plants

**shirohmygod:** Keith and Lance are now arguing over whether or not it's bad for Lance to want to get vored by Poison Ivy’s plants

**sexy and bi know it:** he’s gay and doesn't realize that a lady dressed in vines and leaves his hot

**PoppinPrincess:** Lance wants to fuck leaves

**sexy and bi know it:** shut up you lessbeing

**PoppinPrincess:** Impressive

**PoppinPrincess:** Watch your fucking back, Lance

**guccieyebags:** lura is now plotting lance’s fall from grace

**shirohmygod:** Bold of you to assume he was an angel in the first place

**sexy and bi know it:** do you want to go to the gay tree fort or not, traitor   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im doing my best


End file.
